Poetry by Larry Graves

(serious and humorous poetry I have written in the past few years)

TORMENT

Will someone please buy my painting although it is no good
If it had even one stroke of genius surely then they would
Feeling unloved in this world is a full time job for me
Living in reality with the knowledge that it's all just a fantasy

I’m not a court jester
I’m a walking contradiction in pain
I’m not the clown you despise
I’m a loving person you disdain

If I looked through your eyes
maybe I’d see things differently
Yet if I saw through your eyes
I’d see the torment you’ve given me

Self pity is caused by people like you
If only you knew the self loathing I do
I could be a friend for life to anyone I’ve ever met
but even one day as you’re friend I’d probably always regret

The love of power
the love of money
They are not for me
As I love laughter and being funny
As you can plainly see



FOR JAMIE

1991
nineteen years old
my nephew
jumped out a seventh floor window

laying in the snow
no sense of the cold
no sense of the selfish act he had committed

as he bled
inside and out
we screamed and yelled and cried

Jamie died
and all the pain in his life was multiplied
and handed over to us to deal with
are hearts ripped out of our souls

pain
guilt
confusion
anger
and finally forgiveness

no cute rhymes could end this tragedy






PUZZLE OF LIFE

putting pieces of a puzzle together so supreme
looking for answers in all that you dream
understanding more and overstating less
guiding hands that heal, guiding hands that bless

moments in time stand still
waves of calmness envelop you until
peacefulness takes its hold on you
yet there is more work to do

questions never answered
answers never questioned
making sense of nonsense
so hard for you all



157 STITCHES

Girl, you really hurt me
The night you stabbed me in the back
The pain was so intense
and then everything turned black
When I awoke you were nowhere in sight
To leave me laying there in a pool of warm blood
Man, that's just not right

157 Stitches
Give or take a stitch
157 Stitches
Sewing me back together inch by inch by inch

I thought we were bosom buddies
I thought we were lifelong chums
but you've upset me so much
Now my stomach's always aching for the love we once had
and I'm addicted to Tums

157 Stitches
Give or take a stitch
157 Stitches
Sewing me back together inch by inch by inch
157 Stitches
Leaves a rather nasty itch

I once believed our friendship would last forever
but the knife in the back was the final straw
Maybe you didn't know but
attempted murder isn't nice and it's also against the law

157 Stitches
Give or take a stitch
157 Stitches
Sewing me back together inch by inch by inch
157 Stitches
Leaves a rather nasty itch
157 Stitches
You goddamn bitch


SOMEDAY MY SHIP WILL COME IN

someday my ship will come in
where it has been all my life I do not know
I do not care
as long as it arrives before I die
I'll sail off into the sunset in this beautiful boat
with a little prayer for guidance
so it damn well better stay afloat
I will sail away far from here and now
away from the stresses of this thing called life
no more worries
no more regrets
leave behind all my sorrow
not to mention all my debts


ROOM OF FOOLS

in a room full of fools
I seem to fit right in
with my stupid little hat
and my stupid little grin

all the other fools stare at me
as they whimper quietly
for attention and I can plainly see
I belong here
collecting my old age pension

it was quite a life I led
a gambler with no money
always the know-it-all
always so funny

too busy playing the fool to worry
about losing all the bets
and if I regret anything now
it's that I have no regrets

staring at the walls in here
brings back memories of a past
I can't remember very well
my life has crumbled to the ground
as I sit here at the bottom
basking in the darkness of my own living hell

SALVATION

the foundation of spirit is beyond the light
it can be seen even in the darkness of night
feel it in your heart and see it in your soul
salvation of love is the only goal

angels may appear to you in a moment of distress
the beating heart holds all the truthfulness
remember lies are deceit  and torment is pain
thunder is lightning and snow is rain

merging together and falling apart
the soul separates again from the heart
dearly departed into the skies above
all fear vanishes into final love

prayers may go unheeded or so you think
for what is a chain without a link
smiles are forthcoming to all the sad faces on earth
as time is at hand for the rebirth

(story about this poem at my coincidences page here)

A CREATIVE MIND

Everyone said he had a creative mind
but he always abused it
His imagination knew no ends
yet he seldom used it

Sitting in his castle of despair
Smoking up a storm
Casually attired in his underwear
For him this was the norm

No goals to achieve
No lovers to love
No buttons to push
No enemies to shove

Lapsing into his daily coma
with a cute little smile on his face
So thrilled at the honor
of not being part of the human race

ANTS IN MY PANTS

there are ants
in my pants
oh the feeling
so appealing

i think i'll keep them there
in my underwear
running around in circles
gasping for fresh air

BONELESS

In a shallow grave
I fall within
and dirt is kicked into the hole feverishly
by all my friends and family
until I'm covered up completely
and start to lose consiousness

above laughter fills the air
even my dog sits nearby wagging his tail happily
I giggle into the darkness
as his favourite bone is buried along with me

FALLING FOR YOU

falling for you
my secret love
no one knows
except for God up above
and although our hearts are far apart
our souls are always beating as one
I will never abandon you, no never
no matter what the future will hold
you are mine forever
as our separate lives unfold

FROM NOW ON

Day time
Night time
Any time
Is when I will love you

Here and now
or later on
Is when we'll fly away

For you know
in your heart
I'll always have you in mine
and forever always means
Until the end of time

Love today
More love tomorrow
More than you've ever known
Long after eternity

From now on
In your lifetime
You'll be next to me





INSIDE

slowly dying inside
wanting to hide from the pain
the pain that hurts so much I can't even feel it anymore
in the fetal position for hours on end
sucking on my thumb
rolled up into a ball on the floor
crying inside
the tears collecting inside my heart
never to be set free
sadness
will never part from the inside of me

INTERNAL OUTRAGE

In her hand
a diamond
In his hand
dirt
Exchanging vows of regret
Love flows endlessly but only one way

Time stands still
forever more until
the final goodbyes
What love there was begins to decay
as the truth seeps into all the lies
 

ISLAND OF PEACE

stranded here on this hot desert island
only three beers and me
nothing much to do
no one to talk to
and I can't even watch t.v.

and as the days slowly go by
I quickly realize
it is not as bad as I thought it would be
in fits of boredom I soon developed
a special way to communicate with myself
and it has done wonders for my health

hardly a word spoken in anger
never a word left unsaid
no arguments that  lead to me not talking to myself in bed
This solitude that has trapped me forever
has finally set my soul free
I love my new freedom
and I enjoy the loneliness
of my own selfish company



IT WAS IN THE TOILET

It was in the toilet
It was not of this earth
Maybe some alien
had just given birth

It's a big mystery
how it got in there
It was black and fermented
and growing hair

I tried to flush it
but there was no way in hell
It was bigger than a breadbox
and boy, did it smell

It made a strange noise
a gurgling sound
I looked for the plunger
but it could not be found

So I put on some gloves
and grabbed it real quick
I was very annoyed
not to mention very sick

The ending is gory
and I just have to say
I learned my lesson
on this miserable, rotten day

I shook it and shook it
until it exploded into bits
Never have grandpa over
when he has the shits




LOVE IS THE KEY

You spew forth your hatred
On a daily basis
So numb to the possibility
of what that incases

You think everyone is ugly
including yourself
Take a good look in the mirror
and then an even better look at your mental health

I don't know where these words flow from
and some of the rhymes might be dumb
Yet they sure make a whole lot of sense to me
unlike your flapping lips flaying in the wind
With your paranoid illusions being heard constantly

This is where I should lighten up a bit
and do my regular comedy shit
but I'm going to fool you all by not playing the fool
I'm going to be sensitive, loving and thought provoking
and I know that is so uncool

Love is the key that will kill all the hate
Love is the key so get yours before it's too late
Love is the key that will always surround you
Love is the key that will open the door and get you through

lying beside you
makes me so proud to be a man
I can not sleep
I can only weep
knowing how much I love being with you
instead of that bitchy creep

it is truly the best
being nuzzled against your masculine chest
and we are not ashamed to show our feelings of mutual lust
oh that hairy bust!

and this precious moment in time will soon fade
and you will be back in her arms listening to her constantly yap
but that is okay
for we are not gay
we are just having a little nap

MEMORY LANE

walking down memory lane
looking back at my past
now I marvel at how all this time
has gone by so fast
and a snicker
a chuckle
a sigh or two
is all I can think of to do
for happily wasting away all the years loving you

 

OLD MAN ON THE STREET

all but forgotten as he walks down the busy street
no one to give him a hug of compassion
his coat is full of holes
and thirty years out of fashion

he stands at the corner
where all his friends used to meet
but they've all seemingly vanished
and there is no one to greet

his aching heart keeps pounding
although he wonders why
nothing to do as the days pass on
except to stare for hours on end at God's beautiful sky
and a glimpse of the uncaring people
who keep on walking by




SAFE

Don't go here and don't go there
Don't go anywhere
Just stay in your home year after year
Curled up in your favorite chair

You feel so safe from the outside world
and the hours go by and so do the days, months and years
age gracefully and die, my love
alone
in your cocoon of fears

the loneliness that haunts you
is no one's fault but your own
at least you are safe from all that could harm you
on the outside of your home

and I'd pity you if I had a reason to
but the life you lead you chose yourself
and there is no one to blame except you
for your declining health

SWIMMING UPSTREAM

swimming upstream
in a panic again
hoping this doesn't last
as I am getting nowhere fast
tired of the fight to stay alive
even though deep inside I want to survive
but I keep on falling back down
Calling for help but no one hears
Second by second my death nears
When out of the blue a hand lifts my spirits
and my strength returns in full force
 finally there is no more strife
I know I will make it now
I will reach the top somehow
until I am gently pushed back into the rapids to struggle through another day of my life

BREAKFAST AT THE INSTITUTION

This game of lunacy
The constant nervous shakes
A lifetime of hardships surpassed
by the daily struggle to eat my Corn Flakes

Doctor Moore said I was insane
and I needed a long vacation
Now I sit here in a corner talking to myself
and I rarely disagree with the conversation

I'll get out of this demented place
No matter what it takes
I am normal as can be
except for all the nightmares about Corn Flakes

I am not the least bit crazy
Just ever so slightly bent
The sledgehammer my wife had used
barely made a dent

My smile quickly turns to a frown
As I am strapped into my seat
Mouth gagged and hands tied down
Damn, these Corn Flakes are hard to eat

THEATER OF DEATH

Death
the final trip
out to pasture

shown film of your life
no color
black and white and grainy as hell

you sit all alone
as the projectionist has left the building
he was your only friend
watching all the misery called your life
knowing the film will never end

constantly being blamed  for things that are not your fault

death
the final curtain
the final insult



THE LIFE I LEAD
 
oh, the life I lead
you would not believe
the women
surrounding  my well sculptured body
the things they say and do
always so naughty

oh the life I lead
you'd be full of jealousy
the beautiful ladies wearing next to nothin'
I guess that's why they call me the Canadian Studmuffin


and then the dream ends as suddenly as it had begun
reality hits
I'm no Don Juan
it's back to reality
and the end of all my fun


ALONE

A deadly silence fills the house that once was our home
I sit here motionless staring at the bare walls
alone
No wife to love
No kids to cherish
No dog to pet
The last few days I'm trying so hard to forget
Anger fills my soul
but I leave enough room for regret
I blame myself and no one else for this heart with a gaping hole
all alone forever more
just me
my memories
and this rotting floor


THE SOCK SONG

I'm taking my socks off
just for you
I know there is nothing sexier
that I could do

I could buy you flowers
but some day they would die
I could say that I love you
yet I don't want to see you cry

So I'm taking off my socks
one by one
not pulling the wool over your eyes
I know we're going to have some fun

You don't have to do anything
Just sit there and enjoy the show
If you're feeling kind of kinky
maybe later you can  tickle my  toe



THE BOAT

In the middle of the ocean
Stranded on a leaking boat
Giving up on life
Giving up on hope

Yet deep within my soul
Stir emotions to survive
I will not go down without a struggle
I want to stay alive

I thrash and splash and kick and scream
And pray that this is all a bad dream
yet this is not a dream
this is reality

and all I can see now 
is the water closing in on me